Friday, 31 August 2012

Brandishing Confectionary Of A Fudge Type Nature

Brixham Fudge
I’ve enjoyed my few days away but it is always sooooo nice to come home. I needed to check for myself that Darrell and Nigel are well and safe, and no untoward occurrences have occurred chez nous ……
Brixham Fudge..
…… and to see what has also happened in the Celebrity Big Brother House in my absence!
Fudge Shop BrixhamI arrived home brandishing the gift of Brixham fudge ….. which I knew would go down very well …………..
Monkey LoveHowever, I don’t know who/what was most warmly received …. my return or the fudge …. I suspect it was the fudge ……what are they like?
Its Good to be home

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Assisting In Matters Of A Forensic And Probing Type Nature.

I did not return directly to Wolverhampton from Brixham,  as I partook in a slight detour with Tom the Scientist to assist him in matters of a forensic nature. Unfortunately, in order to protect the security of the nation, I am not at liberty to divulge ANYTHING that I have seen, heard, smelt, touched, tasted or even vaguely suspected …… which is why there is no photographic evidence of my presence in the laboratories of a criminally investigative type nature.
Forensic Monkey…… However,  I don’t think that there would be any serious recriminations if I just mused on how very romantic it was to wear scrubs, mask, hairnet, goggles AND white rubber boots …… I almost felt scientific and probing myself…..
images (30)…… And….  that Tom had assigned me to the “Case Basket” …. which I had to take round to each scientific type person in turn and ask them to take on a new case ….. which I did with due diligence.  Tom told me that if they chased after me to swop their case, saying that they didn’t like it, I was to give them a hard stare and say there weren’t any swops, with the firmness and authority we had practiced in his office!
magazine-basketIt was an experience, and an experience I tried to embrace ….. but to be honest I think I would prefer to remain a stranger to the test tube, Bunsen burner and sticky substances of an unknown nature and origin and leave it to the professionals!
images (30)

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

A Hotel Review!!!

I felt like I had entered a secret  Olympic Games Maker enclave when I arrived our Premier Inn in Paignton!  If Vinnie The Volunteer had been with us he would have been extremely hard to spot, as his uniform would have afforded him an excellent camouflage against all the corporate Premier purple!
South Paignton Premier InnThe first thing I looked for was my copy The Gideon's Bible ….
Gideons Bible Paignton SouthAnd then I checked the complementary beverages …. I liked the fact that there were proper mugs to quaff from  …. as I find that a cup is not a sufficient measure of tea or coffee for my needs.  I also preferred the “proper”  glass glasses …. because, although I am not overly endowed with manly strength, I have been known to crush the plastic glasses so often provided now in hotel rooms.  I expect it is something to do health and safety, but they just aren't the same…..!!
Premier Inn Paignton SouthUnfortunately, there were no complimentary individual packets of custard creams or bourbons supplied,  so it was most fortuitous that I had the foresight to bring an ample supply of Hob Nobs and Wagon Wheels with me,  just in case I had the midnight munchies.
Premier Inn   South PaigntonThe bathroom was also sparse, in fact bereft, of complimentary toiletery items ….. and I do so love the excitement of seeing who can bagzzz the bonnet de douche first! There were no mini bottles of shower gel or shampoo and no little tablets of soap which I like to take home and put in my sock drawer ….
pc188845-nice_elegant_luxury_white_hand_wash_dispenser_for_4_stars_hotels_hospitals….. it may say “luxury” on the dispenser …. but it’s not half as romantic and glamorous as pouring (rather than pumping) foaming liquids from a proper bottle, even if the contents ponk!
Hotel-Shampoo-Hotel-Shower-Gel-Hotel-Body-LotionAnd finally the decor was interesting, two mahooooosive flowers spread over two canvases …. a little reminiscent of what Nigel has produced when he has been in his artistic “zone”!
Paignton South Premier Inn Guest RoomWhich got me thinking ….. somewhere there must be a huge hotel decor warehouse where they have 1,000’s and 1,000’s of the same picture, lamp, chair and kettle etc.  all in purple, if you so desire….. how exciting would it be to go through there gliding along on your trolley, selecting corporate ware!

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Oh, How Darrell Would Have Laughed …… !!

If Darrell had seen this shop on Paignton Pier he would have laughed so robustly, he wouldn’t have been able to catch his breath and would then have  needed mahoooosive gulps of oxygen in the First Aid cabin to recover …..The Wee Shoppe Paignton Pier….. not to mention a copious amount of tissue to soak up the tears that would no doubt also be  running down his face, toilet humour, no matter how puerile has always been his Achilles heel!

Monday, 27 August 2012

Family Crabbing Dans Brixham

Brixham CrabbingIt was decided that while we were in Brixham the whole family should partake in a friendly crabbing contest …..
Crabbing Brixham ….. although it quickly became very obvious that the Clifford side of the family were taking it a lot more seriously than our side.
Crabbing Brixham.They had a full and varied selection of bait that would have supplied the whole of the Brixham fishing fleet, whereas our side had just brought along a few scraps of bacon and sausage left over from breakfast!
Crabbing in Brixham.After six hours in the hot baking sun, it was inevitable that we would have to admit to a gracious defeat in the presence of such “proffessional” and focused competition, and if I were to be honest, I was also a little relived that I hadn’t landed and thus had to touch a crab, because if I had, I would have probably screamed like a girl, as I much prefer to be a stranger to clicky clacky claws, pincers and slimy things  ….. it’s much better to admire anothers spoils from afar in a bucket ……than to make a complete fool of oneself ….. n’est pas?

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Brixham Lifeboat

I’ve been away for a few days as I have been down to Brixham to say a final goodbye to Andy. Darrell and Nigel would have liked to have been there too, but after much robust debate it was felt that as the elder I should represent all of us, as room in the car was of a premium. Brixham HarbourNaturally, the days were tinged with a little sadness, but, we were also there to celebrate the wonderful legacy in Andy’s memory in the form of a donation from family and friends towards the running of the Brixham RNLI lifeboat, which we hope we can continue to build on in the future.
041The highlight of our trip and totally unexpected was a tour of the Brixham lifeboat and lifeboat station.
037OMG …… Darrell and Nigel would have LOVED it so much, so I embraced the experience for them, as well as myself in a totally blessed Hello Magazine type way.
031Taking the helm of the boat has got to be one of my ultimate life highlights …. my hands were shaking as I thought of all the heroic rescues that had been raced to from this seat of power.
033But … I looked around …..
034….. at all the buttons and switches ….
Brixham Lifeboat ,,,…. and instruments of a very complicated mariner type nature …
Brixham Lifeboat…. I was sad that Darrell and Nigel could not with me, but in another way I was a little thankful and relieved too, as all those aforementioned buttons, switches and complicated instruments may have proved too much temptation for curious and impulsive fingers …….
Lifeboat Brixam.…… and an unofficial launch would have proved just too embarrassing to bear!
046It was all very, very wonderful and I felt unbelievably honoured and privileged to have been allowed onto a “real live”  lifeboat. 
044I learned soooooo much too from Mr Elliman, the Lifeboat Operations Manager, who took us around … and enjoyed his story about rescuing goats that had fallen from a cliff top ……it’s a day that will stay with me for a long, long time ….. and when I got home it didn’t take too much robust debate for Darrell, Nigel and myself to decide that from henceforth and infinitum the RNLI will always be our charity of choice!

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Of A Totally Unavailable Type Nature

Au’jourdhui we are having une Duvet Day …..
Duvet Day
We have back to back Jeremy Kyle, Judge Judy, et Dickinson’s Real Deal to watch ….. no phone, no text, no e-mail ….. avec an ample et sufficient supply de giant Milky Bar buttons et de vimto, et une warm wheat bag apiece to snuggle …… S’ILVOUS PLAIT NE DISTURB!

Friday, 24 August 2012

Tonight …..

Psychologies magazine
Tonight I am mostly reading Psychologies …..
003x….. and have gained much insight into the mashinations of both …….
011….. Nigel’s and Darrell’s minds ……. I have reached some robust and interesting conclusions …….
Clement Freud…… all of which I think Freud would have been facinated by and which may even have changed his whole path of thinking had he ever too had the “pleasure” of analysing them himself! ……

Thursday, 23 August 2012

More News (Admittedly A Little Late) From Games Maker Vinnie–A Thank You of Olympic Proportions ….

SAMSUNG            Vinnie has sent us a few pictures of his final romantic Olympic Day to peruse…. whilst he begins his preparations for his even more wonderful Paralympic Days….
SAMSUNG            He said that after all the 10km Marathon Swim Events had finished in Hyde Park …….
SAMSUNG            There was a mahoooosive “Thank You/Wrap” party for all the volunteers who had worked in Hyde Park … like Auntie Jan and his good self. He said that there was a most sufficient finger buffet, drinks of every denomination and as many Cadbury mini chocolates as you could put in your mouth, pockets, bags  and anywhere else you could erm ……. shove place them ……
SAMSUNG            There was also a free draw, which Vinnie entered and embraced …..
SAMSUNG            …… and when his name was called out as a winner of keyring of an exclusive Olympic type nature he said that everyone cheered and clapped for him, which made him blush with pride that everyone knew who he was!
SAMSUNG            There were also Thank You Certificates akimbo for everyone …. Vinnie said that he was going to frame his and put it in pride of place on the already festooned mantelpiece as soon as he gets home “for real” after the Paralympics.
SAMSUNG            Vinnie also admitted that although he doesn’t usually imbibe, especially when on duty, as it was “A Wrap” he let his hair down just this once and partook of one of the aforementioned drinks of all denominations!  Well done, Bottoms Up, Cheers and Bon Santé Vinnie, you earned it!

Wednesday, 22 August 2012

Wolves 3–Barnsley 1

We won …. we won …. we won!  I admit I got so excited and shouted and sang so robustly ….. that I no longer have a voice,  just a high pitched and most unmanly squeak, but it was so wonderfully worth it!
Wolves 3 Barnsley 1Tom said I’ll have to go every week now, as long as I don’t ask stupid questions …… (see below) as I seem be a bit of a lucky charm …. but I think it was my lucky pants, socks and vest that really did it.Wolves v BarnsleyThe new Stan Cullis Stand looked both magnificent and romantic, it’s just a pity that Andy never got to see it, which made me feel a bit sad, but I was there to embrace it for him.Minesweeping at WolvesI think only let myself down once, and that was when I asked Tom why they were sweeping for mines on the pitch before the bully off …. he tutted (a bit like Lucy does sometimes) and told me to suck on my glacier fruits (quietly)!
Wolves v Barnsley.We all shared a rampantly buoyant mood as we left the Molineux ….. dreaming of the matches and victories that were to come ….. and perhaps going up again soon…….???
Wolves v Barnsley..….. My mind also wandered to the mahooosive beefburger, with extra fried onions and a dollop of tomato sauce  that would be in my tummy by the time we got back to the car ….. nom, nom, nom,  and the gentle lilt of Hi Ho Wolverhampton ringing in my ears!

Tuesday, 21 August 2012

New To Our Village …. Pizzarelli's

We go away for a couple of days …. and look what happens ….
pizzarelli's…. we get a new pizza shop in the village !!!
Bilbrook PizzaTo say that Nigel is robustly excited would be a robust understatement,  as he already knows the menu off by heart ….. including extras.
Pizza BilbrookAt the moment his Pizzarelli pizza of choice is an Hawaiian deep pan with extra anchovies and pepperoni ….. and Nigel is determined that he will be the first customer through the door when it opens for the first time on Thursday evening …. ! We may have to burst his little pizza bubble, because according to our tight menu schedule for Thursday  …. we shall, in fact, be dining on shepherds pie with carrots, cauliflower and gravy, accompanied with a little  tomato sauce for Darrell,  and a vanilla petits filous and banana for dessert.  POP!!!!!